The Day Before the BIG Day

It has finally arrived. Ashlynn is heading off to kindergarten tomorrow. Bright and early at 8 AM. Although she is only going to be gone for 3 hours, I know it's going to feel like 3 days. I set out her first day outfit already so that we're ready to go in the morning. I have my alarm clock set for 6:03 AM just to ensure we're up and at 'em. I want to make her a nice hot breakfast of French Toast and some fruit (something good and hearty) so she won't be starving by 9 o'clock. Wow-I think I'm actually ready. Ready? I don't think we're ever ready for our children to grow up. I have come to the realization that no matter how ready our kids are, we as parents are not that ready for them to move on. I know that it's just kindergarten (and half-day kindergarten at that) but still. It's the start, the foundation, of her future. I guess deep down in my heart I am hoping that all that I have honestly tried to teach her will shine through while she is out of my care. I understand fully what it must have felt like for my mother when each of us kids left for school the first time. I am quite certain that I am going to feel the exact same way with each of my girls as I am feeling now with only my first, my sweet little Ashlynn. I am excited and believe it or not...READY!

One more...

Here is our little sassy girl, Ellyce, being silly. She loves to put the towel on her head like I do after she's done with her bath...I swear she doesn't get this spunky attitude from me. I mean of course I would never act like that! Ha...whatever!

Picture of the girls...

Too cute to pass up...here's our girls being GIRLS! Ashlynn, Ellyce, and Jillian taking a break from jumping on the trampoline to snap a quick photo. Ashlynn, Ellyce, and Jillian after their bath. And Ashlynn and Ellyce making their usual "silly goose" faces.

Same ol' same ol'...

How is it that my day seems completely filled with stuff to do but it never gets done? Oh, I know why...Ashlynn, Ellyce, and Jillian. Nothing new to report but did want you all to know I was still here surviving the lovely 105 degree weather. At least it's a break from being 115...ahhh. I have been busy trying to find time to read the newest Stephenie Meyer book, Breaking Dawn. My friend, Kara Martin and I decided to go to the midnight book release party at Barnes and Noble Friday night (August 2nd) which was pretty fun. Timothy and I went to the Harry Potter midnight book release party when that came out (that was even crazier than this one). Teenagers were all dressed up in their prom dresses-felt like deja vu' for a little bit. Oh to be young again! No thanks.

I am not really working at the dance studio although I've already subbed for two classes already (how is it that they still get me to come in and teach). I actually get to teach the aerobics class on Monday mornings which is fun. It's more of a dance aerobics. We do a ballet type of warm up and some abdominal combinations then a dance type of cardio for the end of class. I've only taught it once-I've really got to learn how to keep things flowing more smoothly. It is quite different teaching adults rather than kids-not the change of pace, but more like the change in attitude. Kids complain a lot more with what you're teaching them and adults just do what you ask them to do-no questions asked (no complaints either unless the workout is tiring, then we get a few moans and groans-a good thing).

It is weird not teaching so much at the studio. Instead of teaching, I am taking the aerobics classes in the mornings. Mondays I teach. Wednesdays we have weight class with a lot of cardio (an excellent workout). On Friday we have ball class which is amazing also. Overall the week is just fantastic. I feel like I'm still getting myself in shape minus the dancing. I do wish I could get back to teaching, but I figure I need this time to be with my family and concentrate on them. It is hard when you are a people pleaser like me to have to tell other people no for once. I want more than anything to be a firm foundation for my family-be a good wife, a good mother, a good overall example for my children. I understand that comes with time, and I figure I've got 24 usable hours in my day, even though it tends to feel like "Same ol' same ol'"!

The Strangest Feeling...

Things seemed to be going fine then the strangest feeling came over me one day...actually it was Friday (August 1st) while I was writing in my last journal entry. I guess it didn't really occur to me to make mention of it since I was on the topic of something else. But as I was sitting there at the computer typing out my inner thoughts with Jillian on my lap, and Ashlynn and Ellyce playing in the background, I got the strongest (and strangest) feeling like someone was missing. I honestly (no joke) took a look around and counted each one of my children. My heart was pounding; I almost felt sick, like I'd left one of my girls somewhere. But there they all were: 1-2-3 little girls.

I sat there for a moment just looking blankly at my children. Who were we missing? I thought maybe Nathan was hurt, or someone in my family was sick...I couldn't put my finger on why this thought had so powerfully consumed me. Then it clicked. Light bulb. What if we weren't done having children yet? What if "Jack" or "baby girl #4" was still waiting to come to earth to our family? Then I quickly threw that idea to the wayside recalling mine and my husband's words: "we're done having kids".

La ti da...the feeling was gone or so I thought. Saturday was like any other day-Nathan went to work for a few hours while the girls and I cleaned house. I figured after we cleaned up we'd head out somewhere so the girls cleaned up their rooms and put their toys away while I actually managed to clean all three bathrooms, vacuum the house, finish some laundry, start some laundry, and take a shower before 10:30 AM. (Jaw dropping moment). So when Nathan came home we headed to the grocery store for some much needed shopping (we were pretty much living off of peanut butter and honey sandwiches) and some enjoyable family time. After we headed home, Nathan headed off for a boys night out (dinner and a manly movie). The girls and I were planning a fun filled evening ourselves consisting of watching the BARBIE DIARIES movie, playing dress up, and painting our fingernails/toenails. So I popped in the movie, made some delicious popcorn, and sat down to have some "girl" time when WHAM! the same feeling came back to me. Once again I looked at my girls: 1-2-3 little girls. I just couldn't shake this sensation that I had misplaced someone...crazy.

Today was tiresome but enjoyable once we headed to church. Nathan had to play the organ for sacrament meeting-which is so nice to be able to hear him play (he is so amazing). While he was playing the prelude hymns, Ashlynn's friend, Sydney, from primary class came over to color with us for a bit before the meeting started (a normal occurrence). I looked at the four girls on the bench and just admired how sweet they were being (and how reverent too). Then once the meeting started, and Sydney went back to sit with her family, that strange feeling came over me. Except this time, I felt it in my heart. It was just saying SOMEONE IS MISSING. I cannot give an answer as to why this feeling keeps coming to me, but in order for me to truly understand what needs to be done I know that I must put all of my faith in my Savior. He knows what my family needs-I know He will answer this burning question that continues to dwell within my heart. Who are we missing?

Little Swinging princesses...

Here is a little video clip of Ellyce and Jillian on the swings at Pecana Park in Maricopa. There are some adorable photos on our family website of our little swinging princesses to see also...just wanted to add some clips on my own site-you know, add some variety. The girls just love to swing, but this time (for some reason)they weren't enjoying the camera very much. Just thought it was so cute how they completely ignored the camera which they, meaning all three, are never shy around.